First, “Live in now”.
Don’t worry about tomorrow, or always regret yesterday, focus your mental energy on today.
Live well today, you have a good life.
Second, “Live here.”
There is nothing we can do about what happened in the distance.
Worrying that it doesn’t solve the problem will make you more painful.
Remember, you live here and here.
Do not consider things beyond your ability.
Third, “Stop guessing and face reality.”
For example, when you walk on the street and meet someone you know, you greet him warmly. People do n’t even look at you. What do you think?
Don’t you feel respected?
If you encounter a leader, you may think that the leader is arrogant. If you are a friend, you may think that the friend has an opinion on you, or you may not have expected it at the time. He may have a heavy heart and a bad mood at the time.He just said hello.
You know, a lot of unhappiness is contrived by myself.
Fourth, “pause thinking, feel more”.
The rhythm of modern society changes greatly, requiring people to think more and feel less.
All day long in my head, “How do I do a good job?
“How do I get good grades?”
“” How do I make good relationships with others “.
, The focus is on solving the problem, but it is easy to ignore what I see?
What did you hear?
The beauty is around, but you may forget the smell of feeling.
Perceptual knowledge is the basis of rational knowledge. Feelings can be adjusted to enrich your thinking.
Don’t just remember logical thinking and forget to use your intuitive thinking, it is valuable.
Believe that you don’t want to be a machine with only logic and no emotion?
Fifth, “accept unpleasant emotions.”
Emotion is the attitude experience when things can meet their needs. Whether psychological needs are met or not can be determined through emotion analysis.
As for psychological needs, we still accept and follow them, but there are many needs that cannot be met for a while.
The correct attitude is: there are happy and unhappy emotions; you must be prepared to accept happy emotions and accept unhappy emotions.
6. “Don’t make subjective judgments first, talk about your own opinions first.”
People often think quickly about the next one, especially when they think “other people are wrong, I am right”, this is the consequence of the “programming of the mind”.
“Gestalt therapy” believes that the attitude towards others and the right way to deal with interpersonal relationships should be: don’t judge right and wrong first, say your opinion first.
The initial benefit is that you can minimize frictions and conflicts with others, and you can also get less trouble and worry.
7. “Don’t blindly worship idols and authorities.”
Idol worship and authority may have a certain “imitate-identify” role in the adolescent stage, draw yourself a fantasy picture of “I want to be some kind of person” and give yourself a sense of direction, but the negative effect will make you ignore it”Who am I?
“The time you spend on introspection has diminished, and the serious consequences of not knowing yourself will gradually become apparent in later life.
Therefore, we should not blindly agree with other people, thereby losing the habit of independent thinking; nor should we succumb to others in principle and lose the ability to act independently.
Eight, “I’m me, don’t say” If I am.””.
Everyone is unique. You are you and others are others. Do n’t think that if you are him, you can do better than him. You can only control yourself.
It’s better to put people into action and do what I want to do and be happier.
Nine, “make your own choices and take responsibility for them.”
It is often easy for people to find excuses to escape responsibility and condemnation.
For example, poor test results will blame the cause of failure as a poor learning environment, parents do not understand and cooperate, and the school’s learning effect is not good; poor work, it will be inferred that the leadership is not good, and thus too poor and motivated.
Sometimes there may be such objective existences, but people are subjective and active, and they are alive!
The main responsibility must be borne by yourself, otherwise it will always be “not growing up”.